My Story: Part 4 — Unexpected Healing

As the scarlet and golden hues of fall turned into crystalline frost, I saw God’s plans evolving before my eyes. Living in my own home and working part time was a divine gift.

In the last year, with the help and prayers of many, my depression had morphed from immobilizing to manageable. Fall festivals were attended, holiday dinners were hosted, Bundle’s first sentences were witnessed with joy. I could feel my body and mind gaining their health back. I felt more like myself every day.

But the promise of a pure and joy-filled spirit hung just out of reach. Could these happy moments really be my life? I’d been living in darkness for so long it felt like life was too good to be true.

In October, a good friend asked if I would be interested in watching her 7-week-old indefinitely after her maternity leave. I was both delighted and confused. How was I going to keep up my substitute teaching schedule? The answer hit me one day as I dropped off my daughter at daycare — start my own child care center.

Suddenly things started falling into place. I zipped through an orientation, took all the online classes I needed, paid the fees, and had a license hanging on my wall in less than two months. By January I was in full swing, watching my friend’s baby while staying home with my own Bundle full time.

I was getting an unexpected crash course in life with two kids. Soon, more people were asking if I had room for more kids. I never knew I’d be starting my own business, but I was. And I was loving it.

I did a lot of praying and soul-searching in the five months that followed. God kept showing me more and more things that I became increasingly passionate about: early childhood development, growing a Christ-centered business, homeschooling, and writing.

What a True Creator God is. I watched the Lord use me for His glory in ways I never could have imagined. I thought I had a pretty good handle on my gifts and how they fit into church, my community, and my daily family life. But God in His infinite creativity handed me a most unexpected to-do list: learn to be a friend, open a business, run a children’s choir, live in the present, write more. If left to my own agenda, my list would be much more practical and responsible, trust me.

These huge life changes seemed so ridiculous, but God knew…for my healing…they were monumental. I didn’t realize that the joy-filled spirit I ached for was so close.

When I reached out to a friend, she reached back and sprinkled my soul with life.

When I opened a business, I served my community and saw God provide for my needs.

When I answered His call to step up and lead a children’s church choir, He rewarded me with the sweet, heart-lifting voices of our congregation’s future.

When I started to truly allow myself to live and breathe in His changes, life came in overwhelming floods.

God showed me how to heal. He taught me over time how to allow my own vulnerability to take precedence over my pride. That in those horrible, gut-wrenching, sweat-worthy moments of bearing your soul, He can show His power over death. And that is what gave me renewed life.

Suddenly this fresh-brewed perspective on life began to exponentially transform my soul.

❤

See My Story: Part 5 — Refined by the Fire

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